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My Trip To The Books-A-Million Abyss (A.K.A. Hell On Earth)

5/8/2013

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So, we all remember that earlier this week, I entered the Bad Mother Hall of Fame for forgetting to get my daughter a promised book on it's release date. Well, thanks to me having my head up my butt, I needed it that exact day. This meant having to forgo Amazon and venture to my local Books-A-Million for an experience that can only be equated to having my teeth drilled without Novocain.

Well, first off let me explain that I am desperate to get my daughter back into reading. Thanks to the public school system, she hates to read. When she asked for this specific book, I just had to get it for her. So, since I forgot, that secured my place in the Bad Mother Hall of Fame and made me desperate enough to go to my local Books-A-Million.

As an indie author, I expected there to be some sort of armed guard to keep me from going in or they would have bloodhounds able to smell the Amazon publishing earnings in my pocket, but I was able to sneak in undetected. I walked past the coffee bar (because we all know that ALL readers drink coffee) and began my search for the elusive book.


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The book in question is the New Moon graphic novel. My daughter read the Twilight graphic novels and loved them! (Thank you Stephenie Meyer)

I thought this should be fairly simple. The book is a graphic novel, so it should be in the graphic novel section.

So, the adventure starts. I walk the store looking for the graphic novel section, walking past like three employees before one asks if I need help. I say that I'm looking for the graphic novel section.

"It's over there," she says as she points to the other side of the store.

Really? That's the best you can do? Oh well, I go to the other side of the store in the general direction that she points. I finally find the section, I even find the first Twilight graphic novel, but New Moon is no where to be seen.

Okay, maybe it's in the Twilight section I passed earlier. So I go there, but no luck.

Okay, maybe it's on one of those randomly organized tables in the center...Nope.

FINE!  I give up!  Come out, come out, where ever you are.

Since I'm not quite finished torturing myself, I decide to go up to the service desk and ask them just where this book is hiding.  Boy was I in for a treat!  The first lady looks at me like I've grown horns. I mean, I was actually asking her a question when it was obvious she was stirring her coffee. The question must have been too hard for her, because she asks the other lady behind the counter. That lady tells me that it's in the Graphic Novel section.

At this point I'm trying to keep my head from exploding. Seriously?

I explained that I had looked there. She then tells me that it must be with the other regular Twilight books then.  I am now imagining her being pelted with bookmarks as I say that I looked there also.

"Let me just go get it," she snaps. Oh....Someone best get this woman away from me!

She comes back and I ask her where the book was....Are you ready?  "In the back."

Suddenly, it is so clear to me why these bookstores are becoming obsolete.  Their customer service SUCKS!  If a customer asks where something is, take a hint from indie bookstores (who I wish had carried this title to save me this agony) and walk your customer to the section!  Better yet, ask them which book they are looking for!  Indie bookstore employees know their stuff and can make recommendations. I didn't get the feeling that the Books-A-Million employees were up for that.  I sort of got the feeling that they couldn't wait for me to go away.

So, I survived my trip to Books-A-Million and next time I will make it a point not to forget when a book my daughter wants is coming out.  That way, I can order it from either an indie bookstore or heaven forbid....AMAZON.COM, so that I never have to cross the frozen tundra of book shelves and miserable customer service.

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