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Confession:  I'm A Keeper of Useless Trivia

10/11/2013

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I know this is a bit off my usual topics, but I've recently come to the conclusion that I am a hoarder of sorts. I don't save cans or collect garbage to the point my house is overfilling (although I should be on an episode of Kindle Hoarders), but I am a collector of useless trivia.

Yes, thanks to Mysteries at the Museum, Mythbusters, Biography channel, and a million other shows and books, I now hold a vast amount of useless information. 

How bad is it? In the past few months, I've been in conversations regarding how to use Vodka for jellyfish stings, the character name and storyline for Elizabeth Taylor's son on a once popular soap opera, Howard Hughes plane crashes, the relationship between F. Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda, drying a mummy in an oven after a flood, Anne Rice's impact on the vampire culture, and the length and weight of Sea World's orca whale Tilikum.

What bothers me is that I never did that well in school. I fell asleep reading Grapes of Wrath (gave myself a bloody nose over that one) and never really excelled in any of my subjects, but I could map out all the family trees to the V.C. Andrews novels and quote long passages of Gone With the Wind.  It's actually my belief that all the useless information pushed out the important stuff that I was supposed to learn.

Am I alone in this? I would hate to think that I'm the only person that collects all this useless stuff and then vomits it back up into conversations.  You know, things like conjoined twins, the assassinated Russion Royal family, and The Amazing Mr. Blunden just don't come up that often, so why is this crap rolling around in my head?

Is it just me?  Tell me there are others out there that can't remember where they left their keys, but they can name the connection between Clark Gable and Buggs Bunny (yep, I know the answer to that one), or what speghetti and China have to do with each other, or who the last ruler of the Forbidden City was.  Tell me I'm not alone!

Now I have to get back to work...If I could just find my ink pen

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